Let me tell you when gratitude is forced; to my younger self

man and woman kissing each other with flight of bird graffitiTo my younger self,

It’s not like you and I are ungrateful. When people help us and be kind to us, of course we feel grateful. Although financially, we may not be able to give it back yet because we are not in that position but we might be thinking of helping them back as a token of gratitude in future and be kind to them now and in future.
But there are some people in our lives who don’t get that. Some people who don’t understand kindness. Someone who thinks and says almost every day what they did for us, and remind us how grateful we should be to them. They make us feel indebted to them to the point they even insult us, defame and demean us.

It’s not like we are not grateful. We are. We even show how grateful we are by being kind to that same person who ill-treats us almost every day. And we can’t even say that we are being wronged because that would be too ungrateful of us to them, according to their philosophy. We may speak out only to be made to as if it was us who wronged them although it’s the other way round.

This is when the gratitude is forced.

When in the name of gratitude, people mistreat us; they blame us for everything that’s not going right with them, even when it’s their own mistakes which led them to where they are; they throw curses and slurs any time, any day they feel like. They say the worst things possible to us when they aren’t in a good mood because of some circumstances which are not at all related to us.
In the name of gratitude, they make us run errands for them even when we are sick; they will humiliate us out in the open in front of all the other people just to make us feel bad or hurt us; they always want to be treated supremely while they treat us so badly.

In the name of gratitude, they abuse us verbally and mentally, sadly even physically for some other people but we are made to be silent and bear it. That’s when they force gratitude on us. When they demand from us more than what they could ever give us. They test every ounce of our patience, tolerance and all the kindness we have in us. We cry ourselves to sleep, cry in silence and sometimes in front of that person and yet, they won’t even feel sorry for you.

That’s when gratitude is forced.

But you and I should know this; we were not born to be succumbed to such people’s slanders and abuses. We are not who they say we are. And You and I Owe Them Nothing. After all such people do to us, their claim that we should be grateful to them for all the things they did for us is just a petty claim to keep us chained and use us for their own personal greed and motives.
All the kindness and sacrifices they say were for us are all actually a lie because a person who is really capable of kindness and sacrifices won’t beg for gratitude by abusing you.

We have to figure out right then and there that all their acclaimed kindness and sacrifices were just for a show. Just like how sometimes, they fake being kind to you in front of certain people they want to please and oh, the moment the other people leave, they are back to being their wicked self.

To them, our effort to make them happy has no value to them. Whatever we do for them is ignored. They only focus on our weaknesses so that they can shame us and look down upon us.

And why I am saying ‘you and I’ and using ‘we’ all the while? Because I’ve been in your place and I can understand exactly what you are going through or went through.

I just want to say that sometimes you will feel like it’s your fault that such things are happening to you. That’s because these people make you feel that way. But none of it is your fault! It’s not your fault that someone has an ugly heart, upsetting and greedy mindset, and doesn’t understand compassion or kindness yet boast about it. Such people lack human empathy and that’s not your fault.

For tolerating their ill-treatment, for being patient to such harassments, for always trying to make them happy despite knowing that your efforts are just a waste, you surely are one of the strongest people but make it stop. Take a stand for yourself ‘because if you don’t, no one will and if needed, get help from other people you know. If needed, speak out the truth out in the open. Do it for you. Don’t stay quiet anymore.

After everything, they think they are always right. Such people, you have to leave them and let them be, no matter how closely related you are to them. They will never change as you think they will. Don’t bear it any further.

woman holding brown umbrellaNever let yourself to be led to believe that you deserved it because you never did. Never lose faith and never lose hope.
You deserve the best people, best circumstances and all the happiness in the world.

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